“I Want to Rule the Writer’s Room” REALLY! True Blood Season 5 Episode 9

I was trying to think of what I wanted to talk about in this episode and I found, even though I watched it many times to write this, I couldn’t think of a thing that happened off the top of my head.  My overall impression was “Disgusting.” Disgusting actions and disgusting images that I didn’t find in the least entertaining.  So let’s start off with the opening scene with was as disgusting as anything this show has served up.

A poor man tied up, naked, conscious, terrified, forced to hear and know he’s about to be slaughtered.  The mean-spirited cruelty of this is, in the writers’ and producers minds, entertaining.   WTF?  And I’d like to point out one other thing.  Niether Bill nor Eric had a reaction to Steve Newlin being a vampire.  None.  He kidnapped Sookie, almost killed Eric and Jason, and blew up a whole houseful of vamps and their humans.  Nothing.  This little tidbit didn’t  serve the story, huh writers?

How about this amusing scene when Bud held Sookie’s nose and forced ginger ale laced with oxycodone down her throat.  Niiicccee!

And we were forced to look at this blood encrusted abomination which was doubly icky since it was having sex with Bill.  It just exemplifies this hideous “Authority” storyline.

Now to the questions:

1. This is the box that Gran tells Sookie she’s sleeping over.  Is this the ONE thing that Maryann didn’t touch in that room?  She tore up that room remember?  Or did Eric buy that nice box and collect all these things that were scattered around the room to save for Sookie in case she returned?  Just wondering how it remained untouched by Maryann.

2.  Didn’t Laffy grow up in Bon Temps?  In a town that small there’s only one  class per grade.  Why would Laffy be surprised Sheriff Dearborn’s wife was Jason’s 6th Grade teacher?  She would have been his as well.  Oh well.  I guess he needed to forget so Sookie could go see Bud to not find out anything about her parents’ deaths.  Nice of Gran to send Sookie into danger for nothing.  Wonder if we’re going to revisit Gran’s message or if this was it. *shakes head*

3.  Guess I have to ask again this week.  What is the obsession these writers have with the word “TITS?”

“Heads up and tits out”

4.  What’s wrong with writing original material?  There was a line in this episode that everyone thought was a riot.  Yes, and it was a riot when it was said about Caroline in The Vampire Diaries a couple of seasons ago too!

“Suck me Vampire Barbie”   Verrry original.

5.   Why has Alcide been so shallowly written?  I’m not a fan of Joe Manganello’s acting, but the writers haven’t helped him at all.  Alcide has been one of the worst written characters on the show.  I’m still not sure why we are supposed to care about him.  Because he has the hots for Sookie?  The way Season 3 was written Alcide and Sookie never got to know each other.    There was no build up to Alcide “falling in love” with her or her having a chance to know him enough to be friends.  He’s never spent any time wooing her.  He got back with Debbie (thinking Sookie was dead is not a good excuse) even after she tried very hard several times to kill Sookie.  After saying he’d waited a long time to have sex with Sookie, was it even the day after that he was screwing Rikki?    Sookie didn’t tell him that he didn’t have a chance with her and she unglamoured him, therefore Eric’s suggestion was undone, so that can’t be the reason.  Alcide has been written as a loser from the beginning.  This character had a lot of potential (yes, I’m referring to his place in the  books) but, as with all these characters, that potential was wasted.

Oh, and when was Alcide abjured from the pack?  I didn’t hear the ritual words.  Did you?

6. How did Sweetie Des Arts know Sookie was in her head?  No one in 5 Seasons has sensed this.  Well I guess they needed it for the Sweetie plot.  You know, put it in whether it was established or not if it’s needed for a plot!

7. Did you have to ruin Terry’s character so thoroughly?  Do what’s right? The right choice is blow his head off?  Don’t get me wrong I was happy to see Noel from Felicity and his awful Ifrit story line go, but Terry’s right thing was to blow the head off an unarmed man?  The character is ruined writers.  And, yes, I get the parallel of Noel making Terry shot the innocent woman in the head.  So what? Don’t try to get us to love him again.

There isn’t even evidence of a crime, so I suppose there will be no consequences.  The Ifrit tidily scoops up Noel and leaves a small pool of blood that Arlene can easily clean up before anyone is the wiser.

Not that there weren’t some high points in the ending of this tale.  Arlene really kicked ass. Way to go Arlene!  Pencils are always the best way to stop a bully.  I found that out in 9th grade, when the boy who tormented me kept putting his head back on my desk in homeroom.  The next time he did it, he slamed his head into my sharpened pencil.  Didn’t draw blood, but it was very satisfying and my home room teacher looked the other way.

8.  Do Eric and Nora really have a history?  There’s just not enough in the narrative or chemistry-wise to believe it.  When they kiss or when Nora, who’s the worst, talks to Eric I  don’t sense she an idea or any memory of what she’s  talking about.  I don’t even believe she knew or ever loved Godric.  I don’t believe she’s in some religious ferver either.  She is an emotional blank.  There is someone, besides Sookie who does have chemistry with Eric see below the questions.

9.  Just have to ask this again.  Why doesn’t Sookie have a reaction to Steve being turned?  I know I asked this before and about Eric and Bill, but the question still remains.  No one  reacts to Steve being a vampire except Jason.  WTH?

10.  And while we’re in this scene, is there a significance in Sookie wearing this color:

And Nora wearing this color?

If this show had any depth it would, and it would be about Eric, but as we all know…..

11.  Is there any significance with Bill calling Eric a traitor for no reason a few episodes back and Bill actually being a traitor in this episode?

No, probably not.  But look at Eric’s face when he thinks they might have to leave Bill behind.

And look at pompous ass Bill’s face as he betrays Eric.

12.  Do Raelle Tucker and the writers really believe this is a great thing? “I love creating a whole new culture of weird…..Nobody else is doing this kind of weird storytelling.”  Weird is fine if there’s an actual story that’s being told.  But as far as I can tell it’s just a bunch of shocking scenes of graphic violence, graphic sex, or graphic language placed one after the other without even the thinnest of threads connecting them.  Nothing makes sense.  So tell you what Raelle, I’m  very very glad nobody else is doing this kind of “weird” storytelling!

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this quote, “Bill has made a really dramatic choice to sell out Eric.  We’ve all been really invested, and we hope the audience is really invested, in watching these two people who have been at odds for many years come together and be on the same side.  And now that totally falls apart. And  for me, my favorite part about that is Bill really believes he’s saving Eric.  To Bill this is not a decision to betray his friend, it’s a decision to save his friend’s soul.”

OH Puuulllleeeaaassse Raelle.  Hudis last week, you this week.  No, no one has been really invested in this “bromance” because no one believes that Bill is trustworthy enough to actually form a true alliance nor that Eric would be dumb enough to trust Bill (who has tried to kill him at every opportunity).   Every week we get to hear excuses for Bill from the writers.  Well, I don’t accept any excuses.  You all are making me loathe this character episode by episode.  I never thought I could hate a character as much as I hate Bill, but each week I hate him more.  Quite an accomplishment True Blood writers!

13.  Why are you people pushing your political agenda down our throats?  My throat is full enough with damn Bill!  I felt like I was being hit over the head with a frying pan this week and I AGREE with your political views!

 It’s not what I watch True Blood for, to be hit over the head again and again and again with some political point or another.  It’s getting old.  I watch the show for entertainment period.  Could we go back to actually being entertaining please?

14. Okay this was actually funny  but could we have more from Pam and Tara than pithy one-liners?

“Just because we drank a bitch together doesn’t make us Oprah and Gail.”

15.  What was the purpose to choosing that version of “Everybody Wants To Rule  The World?”  Was that really the tone you all thought the episode ended on?  Bill betrayed Eric!  Wacka! Wacka??”  It was jarring and inappropriate and I thought insulting to the Eric character.  But then again, I suppose we were supposed to cheer, “Yay Bill!!”  Right?

What I liked about the episode:

Eric and Nora have no chemistry, but Molly and Eric sure do!  If we can’t have Eric and Sookie, I’ll take Eric and Molly please!

Look at the two of them. HOT!

The writers admitting they were ripping off Ghost. Now can we acknowledge they’re ripping off Harry Potter as well?

Whoopie Reynolds

The scene between Jason and Jessica was the most honest of the episode.

And actually referenced what happened several episodes before, which is a rarity.

One of the best scenes in almost the whole 5 Seasons and THE best in the last 2 Seasons.  Finally, Eric has his personality back!

Most satisfying Eric line to Bill: “SHUT UP!”

Mockingly, “Hey I have a great idea! Why don’t we blow up all the True Blood factories at start a civil war.  Won’t that be fun!”

“Perrrrr….aaaaaaaise Lilith!”

To Bill’s “We both saw Lilith.”  “WE WERE HIGH!!!!”  Bill, what an idiot!

“What about Sookie? She just food to you now?”

 Who says Eric doesn’t care about Sookie?  Look at his “she better not be” face.

That damn shifter-shooter story line is through.  Or I pray it is anyway!

Bye  bye Bud!  We won’t be missing you after this story line!

Sam saves Sookie by shifting into a pig…..

Then he kicks ass bare-assed!  Go Sam!

I want to love Russell and Steve, but Russell’s such a villain that I’m not enjoying it.

Yay Dale Dickey!

Screen caps by Witch of Bon Temps.


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