Really, this show is “Hopeless” True Blood S5 E6

Sheeeeee’s baaaaaaack!

Leave it to Alan Ball, who wrote this episode,  to reverse the steps Angela Robinson took with Sookie’s character.  Seriously, why did he even want to base a series on the Southern Vampire Mysteries?  He has such contempt for the protagonist.

1. What happened to Fangtasia?  It now looks like a college bar with all the lights on at the end of the night trying to get rid of the drunk frat boys.  Is the bar doing that badly?  There’s only about 15 people in there and they all look bored.  Is Pam running it into the ground?  Poor Fangtasia!

2.  Why are they all throwing Doug to the Vamps? Sookie should be ashamed of herself and Alcide should be too for not speaking up!  Nice boss!

See, Alcide’s just standing there saying nothing as Bill re-emphasizes it was Doug who led them there!

3.  Why is Sookie crying like she just lost her best friend?  She just dumped Bill’s and Eric’s butts not in a nice way.  She was happy to jump Alcide’s bones that night. She bitches to the boys that she lets them go so she can move on with her life but they end up at her house anyway.  So Bill just told her it was over (for her own good of course) and now she’s crying like an idiot.  Oh Alan Ball…..

4. One thing Sookie isn’t, is crude.  But Alan Ball writes this lovely bit of dialogue: “I just took an order from a man who could not keep his eyes off my TITS the entire time…..”

Yes, Holly and Arlene I most certainly agree.  Saying Boobs is one thing but Sookie saying “Tits” ?  I don’t think so.

5.  Blood of a Hemophiliac? Trying to get your book nods in Alan to keep to the “spirit” of the books?  Nah.  Nope!  Sorry, just doesn’t work when you’ve assassinated too many book characters.  That ain’t gonna make up for it.

6.  What is with this lamo faerie club?  Feel the need to soak up minutes upon minutes with dancing.  It’s horrible.   Though if the alternative is minutes of another non-sensical scene, I guess I’ll take the faerie dancing.  And while we’re on the subject of this storyline, what is the purpose of Claude having 101 sisters?   Don’t we have bloody enough characters on this show?  What are their names again? Claudette, Claudellen, Claudhopper…..

Four of Claude’s 101 sisters.

7.  What is this silly “Vampire killed your parents because he smelled your old crusty band aid” business?  That’s the silliest thing yet and this show excels in silliness.  One of her parents has to be fae.  The vamp couldn’t smell that? And as some of my friends pointed out, where was he throughout her life? When she scraped her knee?  Every month for god’s sake!  Makes no sense Alan Ball and writers.  I know you don’t care.  Just thought I’d point out another stupid hole you’ve dug yourselves.

8.  How did Junior know Sam was a supe?  Sam wasn’t doing anything suspicious.  He was just looking at the arsenal.  Guess Junior was a faerie who read Sam’s mind.  Right?  Wrong? Nonsensical show.

9.  That Nora.  Why does she still live?  She’s just the worst of the worst!

What I thought was less “hopeless”:


“You might as well be praying to leprechauns or unicorns or the Mother F’ing Kardasians!  That makes as much sense!”

Eric glamours Alcide:

“You will keep your hands off her romantically speaking”

Confused Alcide

“She kind of disgusts you.” LOL!

Yay Dale Dickey!  She was a dear friend in college and she’s a fantastic actress!

Second Sookie/Eric eye communication, so much like their relationship in the books.  Again, not getting my hopes up at all, but it was great.

Bill: “We found them parked in a van outside of Shreveport.” Eric: “Humping each other like livestock.” and Sookie looks at Eric with this look.

Eric returns the look.


“Lilith can blow me.”  LOL!  Eric!

The wonderful Alfre Woodard and Nelsan Ellis:

“The lestricity just runs through, it always has”

“Save Jesus!  Jesus love you.”

Molly doesn’t want to set off the istake, it would be ironic while she was taking it off Eric:

“But funny!”

I hate Terry’s storyline, but this goodbye scene was moving because they are very good actors, just too bad they’re saddled with a storyline at all.  They’re best served when they’re comic relief.

We’ll end this one with Russel:

“In the name of my ass.”


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