Really? Turn Turn Turn True Blood Season 5 Episode 1

True Blood jumped the shark last season with it’s huge plot holes, split personality characters, and amnesia in regards the the plot points the writers so diligently  created in previous season. What I find myself saying as the watch each episode is WHY??????

So instead of a recap, because there are so many great bloggers out there recapping True Blood in such witty ways, I’ve decided to go through asking the questions that come up in each episode.  I have 10 for the writers and creators of  Season 5’s first episode, “Turn Turn Turn.”

1. Why would Eric vamp speed out the door of Bill’s mansion when he knows the Authority is out there waiting to get him?  He did know they were there.  He muttered “They’re already here,” and he whooshed out the front door.  Eric is a smart and crafty vampire, shouldn’t he have at least tried to sneak out another way?  He actually ran right into their silver nets!  Sheesh!

2. Why was it so important for the Authority to clean up Bill’s mansion?  Why did THEY care it was full of Nan goo? Bill has servants, who I presume would do his bidding, if he cared to involve them (though Eric did a thorough job!)

Why would the Authority think it mattered to humans that a vamp was killed?  Besides who would expose her death anyway?

3. Why didn’t Pam sense Eric was in danger?  She always has before.  For that matter, why didn’t Jessica sense Bill was in danger?  The writers made up this mythology.  They should have both shivered and known where there makers were.  No?

4.  Why was Sookie so bitchy to Pam when she first walked into the house?  Sookie doesn’t know what went on in front of the Moongoddess does she?  Was there time to tell her  that Pam fired that flame thrower?

5.  Could we please make up our minds? Has Pam been a maker before or not?  Yes, yes I know on the Blu Ray the writers had Pam talking about someone named “Colin” that she turned then  she kicked to the curb.  (BTW HBO, you DO know not everyone has a Blu Ray player don’t you? So many people did not have access to that information)  Yet, in the great emotional scene in Fangtasia in Season 3 Eric told Pam it was time she was a maker.  There there’s this: Last season Pam said to Eric, “I have been with you over 100 years.  We traveled the world together, killin’ and fuckin’ and laughin.” Really? So when did she make Colin w/out Eric knowing?

6. IDK, I thought Laffy already said goodbey to Jesus last season, when Jesus fully materialized and spoke w/Laffy.  He had closure didn’t he?  I know many people who would have loved THAT kind of closure.  Laffy needed to see the dead body?  Funny, neither Sookie nor Laffy tried to look for Jesus’ body, nor did they concern themselves about if after that scene.

7.  Why didn’t Alcide smell Debbie’s tooth out there on the floor?  Did he lose his were olfactory powers?  While we’re at it, Sookie did such a thorough job cleaning that kitchen she didn’t see that tooth right in front of the fridge?

8.  Alcide knew Russell was buried alive.  Why didn’t HE tell Sookie last season?  He was being a hypocrite to blame Eric and Bill.  At any rate Sookie knew Eric wasn’t going to kill Russell.  He made her save him.  It is true Bill lead her to believe Russel was dead as well as Eric.  “I ended them.  And anyone who knows about your fairy blood”  (I’ve got A LOT of questions about that scene but it’s two seasons ago, though I won’t let it go I won’t bring them up here).

9.  Why has Terry’s personality completely changed?  And I don’t mean the PSTD part, Terry was sweet natured and a little daffy, as well as shell shocked.  He’s not speaking in a different rhythm, like he’s a totally different person.  What gives?  That personality not mesh with this new story line?  A story line, btw, that has no business being in this show.  It’s a whole different tone. It’s more suited for the Movie-of-the-Week or Lifetime Network.  Terry and Arlene are comic side characters.  They should not be a major story line and especially not one that stops each episode in its tracks!

10.  Sookie screaming.  Really?  AGAIN?!?!?  Forgot about her fairy jazz hands again did she?  Why even invent those things if you’re not going to have her use them?  She couldn’t use them to get herself out that ring of fire last season either.  It was lame to give her that power anyway.  Oh, and while we’re on the subject, if she had used her telepathic powers (which she seems to have forgotten over the last few seasons) she would have sensed that Debbie, not Tara was in the house.

And there we have it, my top 10 questions of the week.

**There is of course all the questions around Nora.  Where was she when her maker was missing?  When he met the sun?  When her brother killed Talbot and was in trouble? She was in the front seat of that car, why couldn’t Eric sense her? Smell her?  I’m not sold on Nora as a major character yet, she just feels like a plot point, so I’m not going to go any further in my questioning.

What did I like this episode?  

Everything Pam said and did (except the Maker bs);

Steve Newland professing his love for Jason and flying out the door “I  loooovvveee yyyyooouuuu”;

Laffy’s look at Alcide when he tells him to get lost; and Laffy’s face as he comes across Sookie crying at Tara’s still body — Absolutely heartbreaking.  But that’s our Laffy.

Screen shots courtesy of http://fractured-simplicity.net/daydreaming/


2 Responses to “Really? Turn Turn Turn True Blood Season 5 Episode 1”

  1. 1 depthsofsapphire
    August 15, 2012 at 2:55 am

    I just have a few things to say about the first few questions you asked. Bill’s HUMAN staff wouldn’t have been able to clean his office as quickly as he and Eric could at full vamp speed. Second, I’m sure Eric didn’t know that the Authority would have been waiting to ambush him and Bill with silver nets the minute they stepped out side. And it’s the authority, I’m pretty sure they had guards surrounding Bill’s mansion, so there wouldn’t have been any way Eric could have escaped–even by air. Three, they were cleaning Nan’s body from the floor because even if she was no longer a member of the authority, it’s still a crime for vampires to stake one another. Fourth, Eric is Pam’s maker. I’m pretty sure he has full control over their bond to block out what he doesn’t want her to feel and I’m sure that’s implied in True Blood. Now about Sookie’s attitude towards Pam, the force field around Moongoddess was invisible. Sookie could clearly see Pam pick up the bazooka and fire it. But that isn’t the reason she was rude to Pam when she showed up after Tara’s head got blown open. I do, however, agree with what you said about Pam being a maker. I don’t have Blue Ray, but they have that webisode of Pam talking about Colin on Youtube and it was on HBO’s website. For Sookie not shooting Tara with her light, Tara was still her best friend after the turning, so my guess is Sookie didn’t want to hurt Tara anymore than she already had. And about Alcide not telling Sookie about Eric and Bill burying Russell alive–he wasn’t aware of the fact that Sookie hadn’t been included on Eric and Bill’s plan to encase Russell–alive–in the concrete. That doesn’t exactly make Alcide a hypocrite. You did bring up a valid point about Nora’s absence during the drama between seasons 2 and 3. I don’t know why she wasn’t present when Godric went missing, but in season 3, no one told the Authority that Eric killed Talbot. I doubt Russell mentioned it when he made them that donation. Eric was running from Russell after he killed Talbot, not the Authority because Russell is three times older than Eric and would’ve killed him. The Authority only would’ve made him a pay a fine or something (or so, that’s what’s done in the books.)

    • August 16, 2012 at 1:09 am

      Thanks for your comments. My questions are meant to be ironic and funny not really be answered, though I’d still like to hear some of answers from the writers.

      The first few questions. I wasn’t asking why Eric and Bill were cleaning up Nan. That was very clear. I was asking why the AUTHORITY was intent on cleaning up Nan. One of the captors says to one of his fellow Authority soldiers,”We’ll take it from here and don’t return to the Authority until it is cleaned up.” Who else would be up in arms about Nan’s death except the Authority. The humnan population wouldn’t care. Why not just force King Bill’s servants to clean the rest up.

      Eric knew The Authority was out there. He actually said, “They’re already here,” when he heard Bill get caught. Why run out the front door? He’s so much smarter than that. Maybe he would eventually be caught, but in character Eric would never go down easy.

      We have to agree to disagree on the Eric Maker/Pam should know issue. He didn’t have time to block fear from her. She should have felt a shiver. She has before.

      You’re right about Sookie seeing Pam fire the missile launcher I forgot it happened while she was out there. I guess there was never any love lost between Pam and Sookie.

      Sookie’s magic hands of fail never seem to hurt anyone. They didn’t hurt Laffy or Jason (and she blasted him in the head! LOL!), so I really don’t see why she couldn’t use her hands on Tara especially since Tara could have killed her. Better dead than hurt a friend? I just find Sookie using her powers really random and I don’t buy the excuse the writers came up with later this season saying she’s using her powers up. That was just a convenient way to write themselves out of a corner.

      Alcide being a hypocrite. First, when was Eric supposed to tell Sookie? She shooed him off her porch at the end of Season 3, no time there….He saw her briefly in the house in the beginning of 4 and then came down with amnesia. She kicked both Bill and Eric to the curb at the end of Season 4. They had about the same amount of time as Alcide and Alcide hates them and wants Sookie. He should have run to her to tell her what was going on even before she rescinded her invitation to Bill in Season 3. Cursing them for something he should have done is hypocritical IMO.

      The Authority told Eric to kill Russell or else. Eric told The Authority what he’d done. We now know Nora must have known Eric was running scared but she must have been too much under Salome and Lilith’s idiotic thrall.

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